Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
