Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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