we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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