I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
