I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
this will be a night to untag.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
