If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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