remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
