did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
