yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
