My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
