It's Friday. Sex?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
