If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
