Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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