Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
