just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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