Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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