This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
