Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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