i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
