I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
