We should be called the Road Head Warriors
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
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