Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
