Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
