I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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