suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
