If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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