Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I believe in your delicious
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
