He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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