i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
