I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
