maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
