So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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