I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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