margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
