I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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