U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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