life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
