Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
