This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
