So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
