I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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