i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
