This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
