I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
