i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
