a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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