Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
