My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
