I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
