I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I wish I only lived at night.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
