Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
His nipple licking is glorious
please don't ironically join a cult
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