Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
